Thursday, 6 May 2010

Guest Review! Wrasslin' in Lunenburg

Thanks to Ariel Marsh and Kevin Fields for this first hand account of the recent wrestling event in Lunenburg. Check out Ariel's work here. (There's a sweet Bee Machine graphic in her gallery!)

Wrasslin' at the Lunenburg Community Center

Kevin, Dave, Julia and I headed down to the Community center for Mainstream Entertainment's wrestling event. They are celebrating ten years of wrasslin' awesomeness. Many thanks to baroing for letting us know this event was going on. I can't even imagine how my life would be if I had missed this!

We had no idea what we were in for.

Ringside seats? Yes please! This brought about a whole new level of awesome! For $12 a person, how could you pass that up? I think at one point, Dave was up close and personal with one wrestler (ed: Mr. Clean) who sported a pair of specimen cups, filled with some kind of liquid. Now, I won't speculate what was in those cups, but I'm pretty sure you don't want a face full. Unfortunately, that happened to the other guy. EEEEWWW!

On our way to our seats we passed the table full of loots. Tons of prints of the wrestlers and t-shirts galore. I picked up a sweet Bee Machine tee and I promptly went to change. BEST T-SHIRT EVAR!

The wrestlers were wild, with over-the-top acting and their sweet moves. But, the best part of the evening was when I saw that Crabmeister come a runnin' down the aisles sideways! It's obvious he's skilled in the deadly arts of Crab.

One of my favourite parts were the delightful costumes. Bee Machine has this sweet yellow jacket, luchador mask and striped briefs. The real J.J.B. came out with his bright pink tassled pants. Josef Von Schmidt sported the eye patch, matched with an officer's cap and trench coat, decorated with medals. I wonder where he bought them?...

During the intermission, we got our pictures on. First up was Crabmeister. I regret not doing the crab with him, but there were kids present. Next up, my all time fave, the Bee Machine. I really had to work myself up to talk to him. I know what you're thinking, “he's wearing a mask.” That just made it worse. Who finds it easy to talk to a man in a mask? Especially one who makes all the lady flowers bloom.

And what sporting event would be complete without the fans? Oh man, they were nutso! You had the ladies heckling the wrestlers to no end. The big burly wrestlers telling old ladies and little children to shut up was pure gold. I almost wish I had Twitter so that I could tweet all of the taunts coming from the kids sitting behind us. “You're a fatty fat fat,” “you suck,” and some rather wicked profanities escaped their little mouths. It rocked so hard.

At last, we came to the grand finale. The casket match! All throughout the evening, Josef Von Schmidt let his presence be known by proclaiming how much Canada sucks. In the end, he got his as the 7 foot Giant Grimez handed out a whole case of pure, unadulterated Whoop Ass.

It was a night to remember.

From the news desk of Ariel, with a few colourful phrases by Kevin

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