Guest Review: Canada Day Supper...or Not?

Strawberry Supper
Baker's Settlement Hall

June 29, 2008

By: KT

Baroing promised that this would be an awesome community supper that would leave your taste buds begging for more… strawberry shortcake. Considering myself a connoisseur of the wickedly wonderful berry, I felt compelled to attend. In fact, I hardly ate all day – saving myself and my appetite for the feast on such a fine day, there was not a cloud in the sky…

The Bridgewater Bulletin listed the supper as follows: June 29^th, 4-6pm. $7.50. Potato salad, scalloped potatoes, baked beans, ham, strawberry shortcakes, strawberry and cream and cakes. There seemed to be a fair amount of focus on the desert portion of the meal… How could I pass up this bountiful offering of strawberry bliss? In fact, we even took Baroing's advice and showed up 20 minutes early. Or so we thought…

The supper didn’t actually start until 4:30pm. When we arrived, there were already several families waiting to attend this supper spectacular. Both of us not really keen on waiting in line decided to go for a drive towards Chelsea. That in the very least would eat up some time… We were both starving at this point, and had even discussed giving up on the community supper and heading back to Lunenburg. I don’t even like ham but to be honest I was saving myself for that strawberry shortcake.

We showed back up at the Fire Hall just shortly before 4:30pm. Already quite a long line up had formed. I would say at the very least 50 people were in front of us. Baroing did warn us, he said that this was a popular community supper and to expect a bit of a wait. I’m all for waiting especially when it comes to shortcake!

The temperature was at the very least in the high 20’s. The air was stagnant and there was hardly a breeze, making it feel more like 40. The sun beat down on all the procrastinators making us wish that we had been more proactive and arrived earlier to avoid standing and waiting like starving fools. The first ones to arrive were already in the hall enjoying their meals. I’d been waiting all day for this supper and should really have eaten more than a handful of piss puffs (ed: rice cake/puffs). But, that is how I rolled… on the ground.

Just as the line started to move again… my girlfriend engages the 2 couples beside us in conversation. Just as Elmer was telling me that he had taught at Centre – I suddenly felt queasy – was it the mention of this crap school that made me feel so odd… I really had no idea… I just knew that I had to sit down and try and collect myself. I staggered over to an empty chair. Sitting down really wasn’t doing much to help the dizzy feeling that washed over me. I decided I needed to get Rosanne so that she could get me the hell out of here… I managed to lift myself off the chair in search of my chatty girlfriend but the tunnel vision was too much to overcome… I staggered back to my safe haven… the chair… but not before I planted my face on this wonderfully grassy knoll… Ahhh the queasy feeling subsided but now I had this throbbing pain on the side that I fell on… I remember is thinking – crap… I am going down in front of all these people that I don’t know… Great! As I lay there in a “Messi” heap all I could think of was, "damn – so much for getting that shortcake."

It was at this point that Rosanne started dosing her GF with cold water and dabbing a cold compress on my neck. Always a trooper in a crisis! A chubby little nurse decided to take me in her arms… I had no idea who she was, it just felt so good to be lying in her plump ole’ lap. Meanwhile, a firefighter was taking my pulse asking me random questions like do you have any serious medical issues? Do you know what day it is? Do you know your name? “Yes,” I replied – “Can I have some shortcake now?”

In the end, never did get my shortcake… Just a nice big goose egg…Next year I think I’ll not skip meals and keep hydrated throughout the day… Might not be a bad idea to show up a bit early too… huh Baroing?

Seriously though, if you ever feel the urge to pass out, a community supper isn’t a bad place to go down – there are all kinds of professionals there to help out… Nurses, firefighters, doctors… take your pick. Or perhaps you’ll be “lucky” like me and have them all look after you.